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Seven Ways to Raise Your Child With Love

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.” (I John4:7)

Every child needs to be loved.

Love is a term that can mean different things to different people. For example, to some, love can mean "I love this car" or "This house is beautiful. I love it!" For couples in a committed, long-term relationship, love means loyalty and commitment. For college or university students, love can mean something different—it can be emotional, complex, and often messy. For some, love means security. For others, love is about giving and receiving, respect, and unity. Regardless of who we are, we all have a personal definition of and a need for love. And it is crucial that this need for love in a child's life is satisfied, particularly by the parents. This is due to the fact that the emotional resilience they acquire will be crucial in helping them get through the various phases of their development and lives.

Laying a foundation of love

The foundation of love a parent lays in the early years of a child’s life is very crucial. The child's learning capacity will be influenced by this foundation, which will also largely dictate when and how he or she absorbs and processes new information and life in general. A child who experiences true love and care, for instance, will excel in school, on assignments, and in housework.
Children need to know that they are loved in order for them to develop into responsible, loving adults.

God's love is the purest form of love and brings out the best in all of us. This love has been poured into your heart by the Holy Spirit (Rom 5:5). With this love, we love the Lord and love others. Every time you and I walk in love, we are demonstrating who God is and how much God loves us.

Love should speak a familiar language

An old man attended a men's group where the men were urged to do something to express their love for their wives. He decided to purchase his wife some exquisite roses. When he gave the roses to her, she looked scornfully at the rose and then turned to face her husband, "What is the matter with you, old man? What am I supposed to do with flowers?” Naturally, the man was hurt. He truly believed that his devoted and industrious wife would receive the roses as a token of his love. His wife, however, was unable to associate his gift with love because she had never received flowers from him. The love language that he was using was unfamiliar to her.

God's love is pure, selfless, and unconditional. The apostle Paul describes this love in First Corinthians 13:4–8 "It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love suffers long and is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up. It does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked. It thinks no evil. It rejoices in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails.”

For a child, it is not so much what you do

but the time you spend together.

Memories made are treasured more than what was spent.

According to Gary Chapman, the author of The Five Love Languages, love has five languages, and each of us perceives love in one or more of these languages. Love cannot be considered demonstrated when it is expressed in a language other than what one is familiar with. This is also true for our children. Thus, it is critical to know what love is and is not when raising your child, as well as the appropriate language to express love so your child receives it.

Raising your child with love is not:

Overindulging your child; allowing her to do whatever she likes while you look on helplessly, indifferently, or frantically.
Giving your child whatever she wants regardless of age appropriateness or resource availability.
Being unnecessarily hard on your child.

Raising your child with love is:

Partnering with the Holy Spirit

God alone has the power to totally transform a person's life, and since He alone has a plan for every one of our lives, He alone knows what is best for your child. Allowing the Spirit of God to guide you as you train them up in the way that they should go is an excellent way to love your child. This training involves correcting and disciplining them when the need arises (Prov 13:24; Heb 12:6).

Loving your spouse

Gary Chapman, said, “The best way to love your children is to love their mother/father. The quality of your marriage greatly affects the way you relate to your children and the way they receive love. If your marriage is healthy—both partners treating each other with kindness, respect, and integrity—you and your spouse will feel and act as partners in parenting.” A loving atmosphere in the home is a good ground for raising a whole and healthy child.

Accepting your child as they are without letting your expectations stand in the way. While it is admirable to have expectations of your child, it can be problematic to let those expectations dictate how much you love them. Your love for your child should have no conditions attached to it.

Spending quality time with your child together in a relaxed, informal atmosphere. For a child, it is not so much what you do but the time you spend together. Memories made are treasured more than what was spent.

It is modeling the Father's love for your child as you extend to them the same grace He extends to you daily as you walk with Him. Not only will your child feel loved by you, but he or she also learns how to love others. And unless, of course, there is a life-threatening situation, this does not entail rushing to their rescue at every opportunity. However, it means showing empathy to your child when he or she suffers because of a wrong choice. Your child must know that no matter what, he or she can count on your love.

Raising your child with the right values. Having the right values will build sound character in a child. Gifts, talents and skills are important are important. But without a good character, their chances toward lasting success will be very slim. Instilling within your child values such as love, kindness, patience, diligence, compassion, and generosity will increase their chances of long-term success. Loving your child this way will keep you in eternal remembrance in your child's heart.

Always praying, believing, and hoping for the best for your child. This is choosing never to partner with the enemy by speaking negative words over your child. Only words that align with God's plan and purpose for your child. Loving your child this way is priceless!

When your child feels genuinely loved by you, he or she will be more responsive to parental guidance in the early years. The trust built during this time becomes an asset in the teen and youthful years. Without love, you may miss out on important opportunities to make a positive impact on your child's life.

Summary